That is so abusive. I'm sorry you had to endure that kind of awful treatment. Women need safe spaces to be able to talk about the harm around our emotions. You're in good company, Joyce.
Great post and I don’t have any tolerance for bypassing either. I’m currently doing a lot of work in therapy and really getting to the heart of the darkness.
Yesss!! There's a beautiful place between bypassing and staying in bondage to the past and it takes time, compassion and safe people to get to that Inner place of freedom. And why wouldn't women have a hard time getting there? Our anger has been made to be the problem because it upsets the status quo role of quietly carrying and saving. When people dismissed or deflected my inner anger, for years it created shame until I owned and honored it as my true protector. The real flex is when we speak up and say the truth!
I'm so glad it spoke to you, Kadence. I feel like all women need this! The anger is so deep in our bones from the thousands of years worth of harm. It's something I hear all around me, especially with the climate right now. We need to make spaces to let it out together and lift each other up.
“Why it works: Writing activates the prefrontal cortex, reducing reactivity.”
In all my years of writing to relieve stress I’ve never known exactly how it was helping me so much. This whole article is informative, and a clear insight into honoring emotions that are shamed. Thank you so much for your work and dedicating your time to this subject 🙏🏾
Jazz, yes! I started rage writing before I learned this. Call it confirmation bias but I had to figure out why putting all the pain down on paper made me feel so much freer. Which means our bodies intuitively know what to do when we listen. I appreciate your comment!
I hear women say a lot that letting go of anger or forgiving lets the abuser of the hook. I disagree what you’re really doing is letting yourself off the hook.
You’re not letting it or forgiving them. You’re finding grace and compassion for the parts of yourself that didn’t know better.
You’re stopping the suffering and hell spiral that’s swirling in your own mind. Anger is the cue and fuel to get you out of your situation. But by holding into that anger too long, you’re allowing the abusers to continue to win even though they’re no longer in your life.
Letting go on the emotions only allows you to better see the lesson and offers the clarity needed to create true justice. Instead of revenge.
This is a beautiful piece of writing, Katie. Although some would say anger isn't beautiful, I now think it is. It's a clear message that something isn't aligned or I've allowed something to cross my boundaries/ values. Like you said, the brilliant body always knows... I used to be afraid of my anger because it was all-consuming and arose over seemingly inconsequential issues. But it continued to send me messages until I was able to understand them. The cause of the anger may be awful and abusive, but the anger itself is a gift.
Yes Lisa! Anger IS a gift. And as women, we need to be normalizing this and reframing our relationship with the rage so we can see what we truly need..we're taught to disown our own alarm signals so long we end up with chronic illnesses and deep anxiety. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. This is such an important conversation that all women need to feel safe having.
My childhood rage was always called demon possession it just made me scared on top of enraged. It's a horrible way to try to control a child.
That is so abusive. I'm sorry you had to endure that kind of awful treatment. Women need safe spaces to be able to talk about the harm around our emotions. You're in good company, Joyce.
Thanks Katie. So glad to.have found this community.
Ooof this hit hard. A punch in the belly. Rage is your beautiful fire protecting you. ❤
Great post and I don’t have any tolerance for bypassing either. I’m currently doing a lot of work in therapy and really getting to the heart of the darkness.
Yesss!! There's a beautiful place between bypassing and staying in bondage to the past and it takes time, compassion and safe people to get to that Inner place of freedom. And why wouldn't women have a hard time getting there? Our anger has been made to be the problem because it upsets the status quo role of quietly carrying and saving. When people dismissed or deflected my inner anger, for years it created shame until I owned and honored it as my true protector. The real flex is when we speak up and say the truth!
Love this
I agree completely. And I need every word of this. SO many of us do. Thank you so much ❤️🔥
I'm so glad it spoke to you, Kadence. I feel like all women need this! The anger is so deep in our bones from the thousands of years worth of harm. It's something I hear all around me, especially with the climate right now. We need to make spaces to let it out together and lift each other up.
“Why it works: Writing activates the prefrontal cortex, reducing reactivity.”
In all my years of writing to relieve stress I’ve never known exactly how it was helping me so much. This whole article is informative, and a clear insight into honoring emotions that are shamed. Thank you so much for your work and dedicating your time to this subject 🙏🏾
Jazz, yes! I started rage writing before I learned this. Call it confirmation bias but I had to figure out why putting all the pain down on paper made me feel so much freer. Which means our bodies intuitively know what to do when we listen. I appreciate your comment!
I hear women say a lot that letting go of anger or forgiving lets the abuser of the hook. I disagree what you’re really doing is letting yourself off the hook.
You’re not letting it or forgiving them. You’re finding grace and compassion for the parts of yourself that didn’t know better.
You’re stopping the suffering and hell spiral that’s swirling in your own mind. Anger is the cue and fuel to get you out of your situation. But by holding into that anger too long, you’re allowing the abusers to continue to win even though they’re no longer in your life.
Letting go on the emotions only allows you to better see the lesson and offers the clarity needed to create true justice. Instead of revenge.
Yes! I agree with everything you said! That is what I'm getting at here.
Thank you thank you. ❤🔥❤
This is a beautiful piece of writing, Katie. Although some would say anger isn't beautiful, I now think it is. It's a clear message that something isn't aligned or I've allowed something to cross my boundaries/ values. Like you said, the brilliant body always knows... I used to be afraid of my anger because it was all-consuming and arose over seemingly inconsequential issues. But it continued to send me messages until I was able to understand them. The cause of the anger may be awful and abusive, but the anger itself is a gift.
Yes Lisa! Anger IS a gift. And as women, we need to be normalizing this and reframing our relationship with the rage so we can see what we truly need..we're taught to disown our own alarm signals so long we end up with chronic illnesses and deep anxiety. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. This is such an important conversation that all women need to feel safe having.
I found myself all over this piece. Thank you for sharing.
I was so ashamed of anger for too long. Women need to be able to talk about it. I'm glad it met you Sarah!
Oh, me too xx